May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Can I color on your dick again?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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