my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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