she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
