I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
