I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
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