I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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