I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
