Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
