She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
