what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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