I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
