Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize