Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
