too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
