Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
