dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
