yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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