Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
