where am i from again
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
