I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
