just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
