my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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