Kiss
Puke
You work out of a Hotel?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
