you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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