If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
