Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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