The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
