That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
