also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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