this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
