I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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