a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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