"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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