You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize