Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
