shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
God, I missed his penis.
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