Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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