I bet he comes in French.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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