Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
