Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
