i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize