I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Randomize
