Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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