ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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