why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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