At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize