i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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