I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
foreskin is a definite game changer
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize