Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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