these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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