You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
