when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize