I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
