If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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