Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
