Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
