check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
