Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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