i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
