Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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