My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
