drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I wear drunk well.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
