I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
