i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
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He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
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You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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