you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
