did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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