"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
